Sunday, December 31, 2006
~ Do I Love Him? ~
1:36:00 am
Just today, I was browsing through some cards with some mushy contents at some bookstore... And being me, I read it out aloud... Well, of course not till the whole store is able to hear it... But loud enough for someone (not my special someone though... *Hehe*) beside me to hear it... Just to let you know, this is a peculiar habit that I have, which is to read out mushy stuffs till the ends of my hair stand... No kidding... *Haha*...
Anyway, I was telling this person that I should buy one of the cards for my special someone... And the instant reaction that I got from this person was, "
No, you don't love him"... Well, I was quick to rebutt and replied back to her, "
Yes, I love him"... I then asked her why she thinks that way... Her answer? "
Because you guys quarrelled often"... And apparently, this issue is not about the argument that I had with this person...
It did caught me thinking, though... Just last night, I hesitated to answer a question that he posed me during our conversation... Not that I couldn't answer it, but I guess that the question just caught me off-guard... And the answer I replied was, well, less than satisfactory, to me, and to him as well... My mouth may be saying something different but my heart may be saying another thing...
And after what this person told me, I was slightly more convinced that there was more room for more love in my heart... And somehow, I was disappointed... That I couldn't love him wholeheartedly... I was dejected...
But with some luck, something turned things around... The cab ride that I took back home was somewhat, a blessing to me... Cuz I remembered what this cab driver said, "
No matter how perfect someone is, there is always flaws within him... Even no matter how loving a husband and wife is, there will definitely be an unavoidable argument between them"...
And I simply couldn't agree more with the cab driver...
There are times when we both would get impatient with each other...
There are times when we couldn't stand one another...
There are times when we would go silent on the phone...
There are times when we get so irritated with each other...
There are times when I would get SO JEALOUS each time he talks about girls...
BUT
It is those times that we enjoyed each other's company...
It is those times when I simply don't care as long as you are here with me...
It is those times when even silence are treasures to me cuz I would still be able to listen to your voice...
It is those times when we enjoyed silly jokes, laughters, hugs and kisses cuz I know that I'm safe with you...
It is those times when I got JEALOUS (and I admit that I do, although I've never said it out and I'm sure you can sense it) cuz it shows that I LOVE YOU...
And my conclusion?
Although I'm still learning how to love cuz I know that there are still more room for love in my heart... But deep down inside... I love him... Very much...
written, NaDiaH eRNiYaNTi
